Letter to me

*Yoinked this idea (a letter to my high-school-senior self) from some of my favorite bloggers*

Dear Me of 17:

Hiiiiii! It’s you at 22! And if I know you, right now you are probably watching one of your (many) (also, soon to be canceled…yea, it sucks. And, pathetically, you’re still a little sad about it. Me thinks you need more hobbies) tv shows.

A few tidbits to answer some burning questions and put your mind at ease:

you’re in college! Not as a film major as you’d hoped, but an English major. You don’t like school as much as you thought you would, but it’s improving.

You don’t like JM. Unfathomable, I know!! You never got to be with him, but did get a nice hug and goodbye at graduation. Don’t cry, don’t cry. You truly have no regrets, and even realize that you’re better off.

You will spend a lot of time with people who will end up disappointing you. You’re beginning to notice, and I beg you, DO NOT ignore these nagging doubts. You know that you should go with your gut, and believe you me, you will save yourself a lot of time and heartache if you drop those relationships.

You’re still friends with Jess. Yeah, yeah, I know you’re not surprised. You’ll savor the memories you’re forming now with her. You’ll also wish you’d spent more time with Erica, Anna and Kate. Get on that! You’ll also wish you’d spent less time with Noel. Deep down, I know you’re not surprised.

Mom and Dad are still together. I. KNOW! Things haven’t improved much, but they’re somehow still trucking. Their relationship will not always serve as a source of annoyance and fear. Someday soon you will learn from their bad example, and those lessons will help you more than they’ll ever know.

You still haven’t made it to Europe. But this is as much your fault as it is mine, because you really should have started saving by now.

You will lose faith in love. You will fall for a few guys (two you actually know right now…and no, you’ll never guess who they are), and you will have your heart broken. You will become convinced that the real thing will never happen for you, and lose all hope. And as soon as you do, your hope will be handed back to you, fully restored, by a boy who will surprise you and adore you and understand you and love you (*hint* his name starts with “M.”) He will love you so much, and make you so happy, that you will be tempted to skip through the streets, maniacally cackling between triumphant shouts about how HA! love really CAN be like it is in the movies!! You will be plagued with insecurity, pick fights because you’re jealous, and question the unquestionable. Push those doubts away, my dear, because he is a man among boys, and he is the one.

You even own a house with him! I KNOOOOW!! You can’t even imagine having financial stability of any kind right now. Come to think of it, the you that is currently me can’t really imagine it either. But somehow you own a house, and it will serve as a headache 90% of the time. But there will be moments when you are so filled with pride and accomplishment that your life doesn’t even feel like yours, and those moments will make it so. very. worth it.

Oh, but before you get the house, you will live with M’s sister. If there is any way possible to avoid this, do it. It will seem like a great idea. It will make your life hell. Trust me.

Spend loads of time with Nan. She passes away during the summer of your 22nd year, and it will break your heart and change your life. I know, I know, you’re busy with work, school and life, but seriously…you will wish you had more time, and that you used the time you had more wisely.

A few pieces of advice? I know, I know, you don’t like people telling you what to do or how to live, but you will wish you knew these things. First, save money. Even if you think you won’t need it, even if that shirt is just so cute…you will forget half of the clothes you own, and yeah…did I mention that you STILL HAVEN’T TOUCHED EUROPEAN SOIL??? Seriously…for us. Just do it.

Study harder. It will bring about much needed scholarships and financial aid that you are not receiving right now. Also, don’t take so much time off after you graduate. It will seem like a good idea, but when you’re 22 and watching friends who you graduated high school with finish college, you will kick yourself. Hard.

Write more. You’ll eventually lose inspiration, but just write. Every day. And not just in blogs.

Join a damn gym!  Or at least do a sit up every once in a while.  I’m looking back at all the time you will waste on Doritos and laying around, and I just want to smack you.  You have “the one” to get ready for!!  You have confidence just waiting to be explored.  Get off your bouncy booty!

You have a lot to look forward to kid, and a lot to be wary of. You’ve never gone wrong as long as you’ve followed your heart, but please use your head more. It will make life easier for both of us.

Love, (yeah, I now kinda love you!! Never thought it would happen, huh?)
K