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23(?)(!) May 16, 2008

Posted by Sparkel in meee, realizations.
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I turned 23 the other day. It’s a very strange feeling so far, knowing I’m being pushed farther into the abyss known as Adulthood, one of my arms reaching back, grasping for my youth while the other arm is thrown in front of me into a welcoming half-hug. I pushed “23” as my age into the elliptical and just felt old. I half expected my joints to creak as I started up.

Everyone keeps insisting that 23 is not old. 23 is in fact, quite young, and I have my whole entire long life ahead of me, yadda yadda yadda. It really only feels old when I think of all the things I thought I would have done by now. Traveled to Europe, lived with girlfriends, finished school, etc. Instead I live in a house I partially own with my boyfriend and members of our respective families. In my world, I’m one of the reliable ones. Are 23 year olds supposed to be reliable? Mature? Paying a mortgage?

The twenties is such a strange time. It reminds me of being 11, and not really feeling like a kid, but not quite feeling like a teen either. Not knowing what’s “normal,” or “cool” anymore. I know people who are married with kids, or who are not married with kids, or who are still in school, or who have well-paying jobs, or are already establishing careers, or who still live at home, or who don’t work at all, or own their own place, or live by themselves, or who live with roommates. What the heck is normal? How do you gage your progress?

Part of me really wants to make this year count. I feel like it’s the last one that will allow me to bar-hop, drink a bunch, have wild, crazy nights and not feel out of place or get those “um…really?” looks. I regret the things I mentioned before (no Europe, no live-in besties, no degree), and I really don’t want to regret missing the whole “woo hoo TWENTIES!” phase that has become such a cliche. I want to go to the gym and eat healthy food, and once in my life allow myself to have the body I’ll look back on when I’m 70 and think “man, I was a DISH!”

So, to be cheesy; 23 will be a party and about ME (the last year I allow myself to be selfish when it comes to my time or money), 24 will be about more (AKA setting my self up as far as a career, getting that pesky degree, and saving for Europe goes.)

Wish my generally shy, homebody, “the metro BY. MY. SELF?”, somewhat sheltered self luck.

And look forward to pictures 😀

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Comments»

1. bebecrys - May 16, 2008

I dont know if it’s because I’m 26, but 23 seems rather young to me now. It didn’t at the time…but it does now… so ENJOY IT!

2. verybadcat - May 16, 2008

Happy Birthday! And good luck on your “year of ME”. Fabulous. 🙂

3. Ruby - May 16, 2008

Happy Birthday darling! Hope 23 is all you want it to be!

I love the way you compare being in your twenties to being eleven and having no idea what is normal or cool anymore….that’s how I feel too only I didn’t realize it till you wrote it!


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